by
Chas Bonner
CONFLICT
While
driving to work, there was about the 5th discussion on the radio about
how to fight fair and resolve conflict in a marriage. It was very
interesting and even enlightening, but we will not attempt to discuss
marriage resolution, knowing what a tough task that is. Instead, we
will focus on conflict in one’s business or farm.
Too
often conflict is viewed as a negative, but it can be very productive
if done well. It forces all of us to re-think a position, to listen to
novel ideas, to work through disagreeable issues, and to end in
solution.
First,
there needs to be a definition of the problem in order to find a
solution. Perhaps the “combatants” should first find areas of common
agreement, where there is no argument. Then clearly understand both
sides of the disagreement through “active” listening to the other,
where questions are asked, perhaps notes taken, and a clear
demonstration of listening, with ears, eyes, heart and gut. Do NOT
pretend to be listening when merely forming counter-arguments. Remain
open to persuasion and demonstrate an ability to change your mind.
Finally,
we have all been in countless meetings where 99% of the time is spent
on problems. Eventually, we must arrive at possible solutions. If
parties to the disagreement are truly listening and looking for
resolution, the remedies will come. If resolution does not arrive,
perhaps agree to put off until another time, talk it over during an
informal lunch or dinner, and dig deeply for a conclusion. If still at
an impasse, perhaps it is time to bring in a “mediator” who might be in
the same organization.
Conflict
is never easy, but if all parties have an open mind, it generally adds
to better understanding, a better business environment, and a new and
better way of doing things.
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